Who's the teacher?

Over the past couple of weeks we have been working with Aly on her attitude. She's been whiny and throwing fits when she does not get her way. While it is completely normal toddler behavior, we do want her to learn that it is not acceptable to act like that. So we've been taking her aside and explaining, calmly, that it is OK to be frustrated and upset. But we can't throw a fit because of it. We need to be calm, speak kindly, and ask for help.

Looks like I need to take my own words to heart.

The other day I had to take Aly with me to Aldi. It's not the easiest store to shop at with a toddler. The main thing is the cart situation. At most other stores there are several cart corrals to park near so that I can load the groceries & the kiddo in the car, and then return the cart without having to walk more than 10 feet away. At Aldi, all the carts are kept locked up next to the store. Which results in some crazy kind of juggling act, or carrying the toddler to put the cart away, and trudging back to the car again. No fun feat in the howling wind and cold.

As I pulled into the parking lot I spotted an elderly couple backing out of the BEST parking spot in the lot. Right next to the door & the cart corral. I stopped in the main aisle and put on my blinker (which is supposed to be the universal sign for "Hey - I saw this space first and it's MINE!"). As I waited patiently for them to pull out, another car came along and whipped into the parking space. MY parking space. What??!?!?!?! I muttered some not-so-nice words under my breath and started to circle the lot again to find another spot, glaring at the other person as I passed by their car. Yeah, not my finest moment.

We found a spot not too far away from the cart corral. Not ideal, but it would work. I got Aly out of her seat while still mumbling about the rude person that took OUR spot.

And then it hit me. I was being a horrible example for my daughter. It didn't matter if the other person saw me or not. That spot was not mine. In this situation where I was upset and frustrated, I did not remain calm or speak kindly. How can I expect my daughter to learn those traits if I am exhibiting the exact opposite? Immediately I prayed for forgiveness as we got a cart and started to head inside. Before we got to the door, I saw the lady who took the parking spot struggling to find a quarter in her purse. She asked me if I had a quarter to trade her for some nickles. I reached into my wallet, got out the quarter, and handed it over. No trading for smaller change - I just gave it to her. I almost felt like it was my penance. After the mean things I had just called her, the least I could do was give her a quarter.

So I guess mommy needs to learn this lesson as well: it is OK to be frustrated and upset. But we need to speak kindly and stay calm.